Researcher Stephanie Brown, with a focus on addiction recovery, developed a four-stage recovery process for those affected by a loved one's addiction, including family, friends, partners, and children. She recognized that supporters of recovering addicts also deserve healing and positive change.

Here are the four stages of recovery for supporters:

       ·         Active addiction or use
·         Transition
·         Early recovery
·         Ongoing recovery

Stage 1: Active Addiction

In this stage, the addict is often in denial, refusing to admit their life is unmanageable and that they cannot stop their substance abuse alone. This period is characterized by constant fear and rage, with the addict’s behaviour being erratic, confusing, and traumatizing. Families may respond with yelling, crying, bartering, and begging, either threatening (fight response) or retreating (flee response). The stigma and shame surrounding substance abuse lead to increased isolation, and family members develop patterns of constant worry, even when their loved one enters recovery.

Stage 2: Transition

This stage begins when the addict moves from active use to abstinence. Family members often feel overwhelmed by the myriad of treatment options and remain involved even after their loved one enters rehabilitation. They may feel like they are constantly on call for small needs but receive little communication. Some families start their own transition, healing their wounds regardless of their loved one's long-term sobriety. This journey begins with acknowledging the impact of substance abuse on their lives and realizing there is a way to live healthier, no matter the outcome.

Stage 3: Early Recovery

This is a tense period for family members, marked by the fear that recovery might not last and the realization that this is a lifelong journey. The loved one's steps toward recovery involve trial and error, with fear often looming over every conversation. Families may feel like they are walking on eggshells, worried that anything they say or do might cause a relapse. It is crucial for families to have their own support systems, such as support groups, to share experiences and receive guidance. A robust support network is essential for the long term and should be part of the family's aftercare plan.

Stage 4: Ongoing Recovery

Ongoing recovery for someone with a substance use disorder (SUD) means integrating recovery into daily-life, fulfilling roles and responsibilities with the same mistakes as any other person. They face stress and hardships but have the tools to cope without using substances. Although they maintain sobriety, they may still be edgy and unpredictable. Families also adapt to a new normal, building something new with added boundaries and stronger support. In this stage, it is vital for families to address the long-term emotional impact of addiction, or they risk prolonged struggles with anxiety, worry, and resentment. There is hope for overcoming these challenges and achieving wellness alongside their loved one in recovery.

If family members struggle with their own recovery journey, they should seek help from a counsellor, addiction coach, or other mental health practitioners for their well-being. 

Author: Elmarie Spingies